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over the past three months Wednesdays have become my favourite day.

along with tuesdays and thursdays also.

tuesdays are my favourite because i get to hang out at a womens shelter and play games and make crafts with the kids. for halloween we carved pumpkins together and this past week we set up a Christmas tree in the living room. some of these kids have been at the shelter for almosst 3 months (the max time they are allowed to stay there) and I have grown to love each of them so much. their lives are so crazy and filled with instability and uncertainty but for two hours every tuesday they get to just be kids and goof around with Christian and I (another guy on staff here who goes with me).

wednesdays are my favourite because during this school I had the privilege of teaching an inductive bible study for three hours in the morning. we went through the books of Deuteronomy, Amos and Hebrews, learning the historical and literary contexts of each book and then asking the question “how is this significant to the original readers at the time?”. then we moved into discussing how to apply these books to our own lives. it was challenging at first to prepare for such lengthy teachings and knowing how to get the students engaged and excited about the bible, but I quickly grew to cherish my wednesdays and those little moments when you watch a student grasp a new concept or gain a cool revelation.

and finally thursdays are my favourite because I get to go help out in a grade one classroom at the elementary school down the street. the kids in that class are such a joy to be around, and always eager to ask for help (whether they actually need it or not…)

this past week their teacher asked me to do a little question and answer time with them before the end of class. “where are you going?” “when will you be back?” “what will you be doing?” of course i tried to explain as simply as I could that I would be working with kids in orphanages and helping teach english.( i may have left out the part about working with prostitutes, cause i didnt want to leave the teacher with that mess to clean up!)

and then one little boy named Keoni raised his hand and asked the perfect question “will you be telling the kids like about Jesus and like God and stuff?”

yes Keoni thats exactly what we will be doing.

sometimes I find myself skirting around our mission. yes we will be working in prisons and schools and bars and slums and all sorts of areas. yes we will be doing things that the world tends to applaude because it is kind or “humanitarian” but truly the heart behind any mission we go on is so that all may know the love of Jesus and the truth of the gospel.

honestly, thinking about getting on the plane tomorrow fills me with very little emotions. a small part of me feels like oh ive been there done that, know what to expect. i feel pretty drained from the busyness and stress of this quarter and every time I pray about outreach, I get about as far as “God give me your heart for this team, for the people in these nations…cause right now all I feel is numb.”

and thats about all I have had in me these past few weeks. thankfully God simply calls the willing. sometimes it takes just going and obeying for us to come to life again.

and so here we go.

Our amazing team- Miranda, Kate, Yours Truly, my awesome co-leader/roomie Dani, Lysnie and Joel

for two weeks in July I had the joy of going home and meeting my nephew Jack for the first time.

its super weird seeing my brother transform from simply my brother to a husband to a father.

jon taught me to ride a bike. when i first got rid of my training wheels jon decked me in every article of sports gear he could find. i recall going into his closet and him pulling out a football chest protector, soccer shin guards, knee and elbow pads, and a helmet. he told me it was okay to fall because there was no way i could get hurt. he was right.

when i got older he taught me how to play basketball and hockey. he can be really annoying to play on the same team as because he yells at you and tells you where you need to be and how fast you need to be running. but its only because he believes your capable of performing better. in hockey I always would try to pass the puck off to a teammate who i knew had a better chance at scoring but jons voice would be booming in my ear with annoyance “just shoot it Kim!”.

he has introduced me to almost every band i love. jon likes to bob and bounce and sway and sing along to every lyric he knows when he is at a concert. at one show he pointed out a dude leaning up against a wall staring at the band on stage as they played. “thats the lead singer from glory nights” he said. but i was quite confuzzled how a member of one band could seem so unengaged with another bands performance. when i mentioned his somberesqueness to jon he promptly corrected me and said “not everyone enjoys music the same way Kim”. such a simple statement, but that nugget has stuck with me through years of staffing DTS’s. just because a student isn’t clapping or singing or what i consider is “engaging” with Jesus during times of worship doesn’t mean they aren’t.

since we have grown up and gone our own God ordained ways I have seen a lot of beauty in this world. but watching my brother become a father, seeing him come home from work and hold his son and smother him with kisses for the first time holds its weight against the rice terraces in the Philippines and the mountains of Tibet.

with every change in life, with every shift large or small another piece of us is revealed. with Jack’s introduction to our family I get to see sides of my mother, father, brothers and sister in law that I have never seen before. (i mean, who knew my mother was such a knitting guru?) I am excited to see more of our selves show up as each one of us learns to love this little man more and more.

i cant wait to watch Jack grow up and ride a bike and fall in love with music like his daddy. and i cant wait to watch him treat others with love and compassion as he observes the world through his momma’s blue eyes.

A few weeks ago i had coffee at the St.Regis. Aka the most prestigious hotel on Kauai.  It was Frank’s birthday and he wanted to see how the rich people lived for the morning.  As we stepped out of the truck and the valet took our keys a concierge asked me if we were coming for breakfast, i tried to avoid the question and said “ya, i dont know.. maybe”.  We turned and walked through the massive halls and under grand chandeliers.
I decided to tuck in my shirt and found myself nervously redoing my messy bun… most likely making it look exactly the same as it had before. As we waited for a hostess to escort us to our tables we sat in high back chairs and i found myself being acutely aware of my posture.
Not only did the hostess show us our table, but she pulled my seat out for me, then pushed it in, and proceeded to unfold my napkin and place it in my lap.
It caught me off guard but i found my manners and offered my thanks. I read the wall street journal and sipped on my uber expensive java and gazed out at the surfers in Hanalei bay. I looked around at the patrons of this fine establishment and had to consciously remind myself i had just as much right to be here as they did.

It was a fun experience indeed, but I wish i had the confidence to own up to it. I wish I hadn’t cared how i looked, or concerned myself with what other kinds of people were dining there, or hadn’t been slightly embarrassed to be somewhere so nice and only ordering a coffee.

And as i noticed myself sitting up a little straighter i thought to myself our surroundings really can dictate our behaviour. In McDonalds i feel free to be myself. I can show up in sweats, sit wherever i want and snort when i laugh. But being here in a posh environment that generally caters to rich folks on vacation and movie stars filming a show, I felt I needed to be more attractive and to act like a mature adult.

Insecurities rob us of joy. You can’t let your insecurity win! You can’t let fear of man win. Cause the more we hang around McDonalds, the more we think that’s as much as we are worth. When in reality we have a banquet being prepared for us in a kingdom where the streets are made of gold. We have a Father who loves us immensely and is longing for the day where we can be with him where he is.

One day I hope to feel as comfortable drinking coffee in the St. Regis as I do at Mickey Dees, because my value comes from being the daughter of the most high King. Not from what my job title is or how much money I have in the bank. I still have so much to learn about being secure in who I am in Christ. Sometimes I am just waiting to arrive at this destination in my walk with the Lord where I stop being a brat, or stop being prideful, or stop gossiping, or stop wanting to watch New Girl, or stop being nervous talking in front of people, or stop…. this or that or the next thing.

This week I have consciously made decisions to be selfish, to lie, and to be a complete sassy pants. And each time I act out in these ways I am prone to beat myself up for being wretched and weak, and wait don’t missionaries have to be perfect? and each time I go down that road of self condemnation the Lord brushes the dirt off my face and screams out “I love you! Now go and sin no more”.  And I am left feeling like a child acutely aware of my need for his grace and astounded by the fact that God isn’t disappointed in me, but simply loves the fact that when I screw up I become more aware of the fact that Jesus was perfect so I didn’t have to be. More aware of the fact that God isn’t waiting for me to work my way up the perfectionism ladder to get to his holy throne. But that he already sent his Son down to earth to hang out with me here in my insecurities and my selfishness so that I can stop focusing so much on my mistakes and gaze at the beauty of his scars taken on my behalf. God’s grace is radiant.

How we got here from coffee I am not so sure. But be encouraged, we are all learning and growing with God. There is no arrival at being a Class A Christian, Christ was Class A for us so we could simply enjoy relationship with him and learn to live out of knowing what he has already accomplished for us.

last night i was asked “What is your position in Ywam?”

position? do we even have those yet? i kind of laughed and the first thing i could think of was, “assistant to the director”. of course this isn’t my actual position or title because i do not have one, and as we are still pioneering this is kind of a difficult question to answer.

an easier question to answer is what do i do everyday. so in case you are interested, as of right now this is my schedule-

Mon-Fri:

morning: wake up to roosters outside my window. quiet time. team meetings (each morning varies with either worship, prayer, DTS planning/ vision casting and bible study). doing or preparing for our team jobs, which for me includes teaching inductive bible study, co leading worship, answer our emails and registering our students.

afternoons: I volunteer at a nearby elementary school (M/W/F I help the kids with their writing in a Grade 1/2 class, T/TH I help in the computers lab). mondays we hang with the  anahola youth after school and wednesdays I help with a jr high girls bible study.

evenings: Tuesday nights I help at a womens shelter, Wednesdays we go to a young adults group from our church, Fridays (weather permitting) our church has a beach bbq outreach.

Weekends: free besides church on Sunday.

Sporadically: Once a month we help at a movie night in Anahola. We are also part of The Seeds of Restoration garden committee down in Anahola park.

The things I do may seem rather discombobulated so to tie it all together here is my three fold focus:

1. Value youth. A) Because they’re so much fun to hang with! And B) Cause I long to bring value and worth to the kids who grow up in a community where the statistics say they are the most susceptible to teenage pregnancy, meth use and suicide.

2. Educate  It is incredibly easy to impact a classroom simply by showing up with a love for kids and the ability to help them excel.  For as long as I can remember the desire to teach in some capacity has been a constant in my life, so being un(professionally)educated yet still getting to be in the classroom everyday is such a blessing to me!

3. Impact Anahola People on this island view Anahola as the ghetto and have very low expectations for this village, but I see so many beautiful people and potential for restoration there!

So that is my life, at least for now. Things can change rapidly when you are pioneering and we will be much busier when the school starts in September.

Besides showering and doing dishes, I honestly love every single part of my day and am so thankful the Lord has called me to be a part of what He is doing on Kauai for such a time as this.

Thank you all for your prayers and support, I am so blessed to be here and couldn’t do it without you!

When I was younger I loved going to the bank with my mom. At 4 years old the bank meant something completely different for me than my mother. As she paid bills and dealt with grown up things I stood quietly by her side until the teller asked me if I would like a stamp, at which my face would light up and I would present my hand to her. I recall so clearly the sheer joy of retrieving my scrawny ligament off the counter top and staring in awe at the bright color now emblazed  on my skin. Once I got home I would be sure to show off my new ink to my older brothers, hoping they would think it as awesome as I did.

On an extra special day mom would pick us up some donut holes from the bakery beside the bank. I recall they were something like 15cents a piece, which seemed like an enormity when you have no scope of mortgages and car insurance and grocery bills.
Those were the best days, donut hole in one stamped hand. And mom’s hand in the other.

Everything was right in the world.

It is so so easy to please a child. To make a kids day.
Recently I have been challenged to have child-like faith. This doesn’t mean blind faith, simply it means putting your hand into the Lords and admitting that he is God and you are not.

When you come to a stalemate of trying to do everything right and fight as hard as you know how to be faithful to what or where you know you are called. You come to the end of yourself. And that’s where he meets you and picks you right up off your feet and holds you and reminds you that he is always more concerned with you as an individual than as his Ywam Kauai pioneer.

And despite the disappointment and frustrations of paused dreams He gently reminds you that he is faithful. That He knows best. That His ways are higher.

And when you let go of all the worries and guilt for not getting to help your friends run a DTS you see the extraordinary beauty in front of you.
I have a house to call my home, a car to drive, a job to make lattes at, a church to worship in, young adults to mentor and friends to enjoy life with.
We must move back to not only child like faith – where we trust beyond what we can see. But child like thankfulness where the smallest gesture of kindness or the smallest bite of a delicious donut lights up your whole world.

Now I won’t pretend that being denied entry twice in two weeks wasn’t awful, or that  I didn’t cry for hours each time. I can’t say I am happy to not be meeting the students ive been emailing for months. Days go by and I find myself calculating what time  it is in Kauai and what our students are doing at that moment. I so long to be a part of what God is doing in their lives. But that’s as far as it goes. I sigh a little, pray for them, then move on…look out the window at the clouds and the rain and feel blessed by the familiarity of the dreariness of a BC winter. Or i look across the table at my friend in front of me and thank God for this moment. This very moment that I would be missing if I was in Kauai and not here. And the only logical conclusion is that I am extremely blessed and the only response to these moments is a child like ecstatic “thank you”.

There is too much here to be thankful for, how do I have any right to mope about one missed season in Kauai.

Life is constantly full of disappointments. But remember that all the good we experience here on earth is simply a product of God’s grace towards mankind.
I deserve nothing, but I have been given everything.

three weeks ago I sat in an office at the vancouver airport for five hours while a United States immigration officer explained to me that i spend 53% of my year living in the US, and according to these numbers it looks like I am intending to immigrate. he then proceeded to fingerprint me, feed me hersheys kisses and send me on my way back home.

Thus Kauai was put on hold, and i was frustrated because
A) repacking is annoying
B) buses and skytrains and ferries are annoying
C) being on hold with West Jet for 3 hours to rebook my flight is annoying
D) not being in Kauai for staff training is annoying

I was frustrated yet full of hope. My God is big. I know I am called to Kauai. I know I am needed in Kauai. So of course with tons of paperwork proving my ties to Canada and the prayer backing of pretty much everyone I know, I figured I had a golden ticket in.

so i rebooked my flight for Jan 11, this time through Bellingham as I felt like the Lord was leading me to try a border crossing instead of the airport. got as much paperwork as I could think of-empolyers letter, pastors letter, ywam letter, bank statements, phone bills, proof of ywam involvements, pay stubs, return ticket…everything.

the immigration officer noticed the letter from my pastor at CTK, and proceeded to tell me that he also goes to a Christ the King church in Linden, and that his pastor actually just moved to Kona to serve with Ywam there. he understood exactly what I was doing with Ywam, he understood I had a DTS to help staff starting in three days. but he also told me he could not in good conscience allow me to enter the US as a tourist when he knows i was doing religious work and not simply vacationing at the beach. I was encouraged to wait for my Religious workers visa to go through ( this is something I have been working on since July, it was just accepted into the system the end of December and it usually takes 3-5 months to go through).

honestly I was shocked.
I really thought there was no way I wouldn’t be allowed in when I had God on my side!
I cried pretty much the whole way home. not cause i dislike home at all. I love being home! but simply from the disappointment of not being a part of the DTS we had been planning since the summer. the disappointment of not getting to meet our six students, most of whom I had been in constant communication with for months, telling them in my most recent emails how excited I was to meet them.

but through the kindness of my immigration officer I clearly saw God’s answer to my prayers. even though being denied entry wasn’t the answer I was looking for, i can so clearly see how God intervened and chose just the right man to be the one to question me that day.
this obviously wasn’t some attack of the enemy preventing me from doing the will of God, this was God’s grace towards me saying Kimberly I know your dreams and desires to serve me in Kauai. yes I have called you there, but for now- I want you home.

and i am not going to pretend to fully understand the reasons why God wants me home for this extended season, but i will choose to trust him.
I think sometimes he just needs to get our focus off what or where we feel we are called to so we can get our eyes back on Him. not the visions. not the dreams. not what we can do or accomplish for Him – simply Him.

My life is lived in three month increments. 3 month lecture phase, 3 month outreach, and usually for me 3 months at home for visa runs. Every transition brings the fun task of packing my life up into one suitcase, one hiking backpack and my guitar case (travel tip #27 -you can squeeze a good twenty extra pounds in those bad boys and the airline clerk never asks to weigh them). Its a royal pain in the you know what. I would go as far as to say that packing is my very least favorite thing about being a missionary. Is loathe too strong a word? Its not just the tediousness of shoving rolled up tshirts into a suitcase or putting my toiletries into ziplocks or deciding which books to take with me or store. Its the fact that packing means upheaval….again. Relocating…again. Goodbyes….again. It can be quite daunting.

And wonderful.
And reminders of what adventure lies ahead.

Packing means newness.
Packing means those books will be read possibly in the remotest corners of a new country.
Packing means that tshirt will feel the embrace of my mothers arms around me soon. Packing means hellos and “long time no see”‘s .
Packing means forward motion.

So I guess im bipolar? Its a love hate relationship really.
I am absolutely not ready to leave Kauai and yet I am thrilled to be going home.
Goodbyes must occur for hellos to begin.

Over the past three months Kauai has become more like home to me than it ever has before.

I formed new friendships. I fell in love with all the kids I got to help teach in Mr. Skabo’s and Mrs.Chung’s classrooms. I discovered new beaches. Learned the difference between hila hila and hono hono. Ate too much hippie food. Sprained my toe three times in a combination of volleyball, ultimate frisbee and soccer.

Goodbyes have been tough this week. And ya packing is pretty annoying….
But in light of who Jesus is, the tediousness and what i consider to be my “least favorite” task, is actually just the smallest price to pay in order to get to walk within the perfect will of the Lord. This is no sacrifice. All that I ever have been and all that I am is blessed!

Praise the one who goes before me, shields me, protects me, provides for me, defends me, prepares a place for me!
Praise the one who takes me by the right hand, leading me not down paths of ease and comfort, but paths that often feel like the wilderness.
Praise him who never leaves me and never forsakes me!

I would rather adventure with God through the beautiful chaos of his plans then try to live a day of this life on my own.

it has been 6 weeks since i left honolulu and returned to kauai. and i gotta say, i love this island! kauai is easy to love because its beautiful and lush and laid back and adventure waits around every river bend. but my affection really goes so far beyond what kauai has to offer me. i love because I finally believe to the very core of who I am that “he who calls you is faithful.” -1 Thessalonians 5:24

I have come to a place where I truly believe that I am called and chosen to be a part of Ywam Kauai. That being here isn’t an accident and isn’t just something I stumbled upon and said yes to. A couple different people have prayed over me that Kauai will be stepping stone for me towards something else. Although encouraging at the time, having this in the back of my mind gave me a sense of escapism. When things would get rough I would simply remind myself that Kauai isn’t forever. But I have come to the conclusion that although this is true, I don’t plan on living here forever, for now I am here. And I need to be here, emotionally committed and building wells, so to speak, relationally with people. I am no longer looking for what is ahead and longing for the day when I will get to go home and “settle” into normal life. Something has shifted in my perspective and deep within my spirit where I just know that this I where I am called to be. And although I would love to have a time commitment so I can be the lovely type A planner that God created me to be, not committing to one year or two years or any number of years is the most freeing thing I have experienced since being a part of Ywam. I am committed to seeing this base established whether that means we are back up and running and stable in a year or in five years.

But at what cost to my family, to my friends, to my future, to a career, to my bank account, to a retirement plan? Where does responsibility come in? Can I really keep living a life that is so unpredictable?  My biggest dream is to simply raise a family,to own a home, to have four kids, drive a mini van and bake cookies and cinnamon buns all day long. I value stability and tradition and structure and security and there is nothing I fear more than failure. Obviously pioneering is not for me. No. thank. you.

But obedience is.

It has taken me a very long time for my heart to catch up to my commitment. But I feel like I am finally there. Where God has called me to be has over time turned into the place where I actually want to be. A year ago I couldn’t have said that. A year ago I was at home and i got a phone call from my leader informing me that we lost our property and had to move off of Camp Faith, and that we would be returning to Honolulu to run our school there. It felt like failure. I turned into an emotional wreck that I didn’t recognize and it scared me. There was nothing inside of me that wanted to go back except for the fact that I wanted to be faithful and fulfill my commitment to Kauai.

So yes, I am called and He, well He is faithful. Like really really really faithful. The more our situation looks bleak, the less staff we have, the less money and possessions we have the greater my outlook on this pioneering thing is. Its backwards really. I hate failure, I value structure and yet I have come to a place of peace in who my Lord is that it really doesn’t matter what this world throws at me. I know that the grimmer the circumstance the greater opportunity there is for Jesus to show up, perform a miracle, and receive all the glory. God really truly is so good and I trust in his plans for this base beyond what I can see with my eyes in this moment.

He who calls you is faithful.

and now for the practical real life update! in july we were living on 18 beautiful acres of land and helping out in the yard 15 hours a week for the woman who owns the property. there were five of us here as a few people were joining us to check out kauai and considering whether to join us in the future. they all left at the end of July and so in August we moved up to Kilauea. Josh and I are being hosted in homes of families from our church, thankfully these families live right down the street from each other so we are able to easily meet up when we need to. its just the two of us until January when more staff will hopefully be joining us. these past two weeks living up in kilauea has been a blast. we have been keeping super busy and I am loving it. to give you an idea of my life here is what occupies our time: team meetings, prayer for kauai and for our base, worship, junior high girls bible study, young adults bible study, inductive bible study, helping at a women’s shelter, sports with the anahola kids, babysitting for the church, evangelism, volunteering at an elementary school, planning a community garden, riding bikes, thrift store and farmers market shopping, surfing, reading and playing ultimate frisbee.

i know it seems kinda scattered but there is a method to the madness. when we don’t have a school running (we run a DTS once a year) we like to partner with local ministries and serve the church any way we can. I personally have a heart to see the kids and teens of Kauai know their Saviour, know their identity and to dream big dreams for their lives. That is probably why Monday nights are one of my favourite ministry times because we simply go down to the park in Anahola, play games and love on the the kids. When we first moved here I used to joke around and tell people that my best friends on Kauai were 6, 8 and 10 years old because I would always play marco polo and jaws with them down at the beach. Now they are turning into teenagers and it is crazy how fast they are growing up!
They all go to junior youth now and have growing relationships with the Lord.

Playing basketball in Anahola

Junior high girls camping trip at Koke’e

My besties Paris and Leahi

Leading worship on the camping trip

12 books of the bible,  countless 2 am nights of charting, and 100+ cups of coffee later I am happy to say I am done the bible core course. april though june were the busiest and some of the most stressful months I have ever experienced but also one of the most refreshing and filling seasons of my life.  the only way I have been able to really describe my experience of doing the BCC is to say that I feel like a dim light I have always seen was continuously growing brighter and brighter every day as we studied the bible.

As we studied the law, the prophets, the gospel, the epistles and finally revelation I became acutely aware of how God’s plan of redemption for mankind was never an afterthought, but it is written into every page of the bible. God never got anxious at man’s sinfulness. He never worried. He was never unjustified in his wrath. He was always frivolous in his compassion and love. He never left out any detail, He thought of everything. His son fulfilled every prophecy. He was intentional in his use of the weak to bring about his purposes. He never made mistakes. He valued faith. He indeed began all, is in all and will continue all. He is the first and the last, the beginning and the end. And I am honoured to be a part of His story that He has been writing over mankind from the beginning.

and that last paragraph took me 45 minutes to choke out. i type and erase and type and erase because honestly all I want to do is give up on words and cry. i have no idea what i am trying to convey because every revelation i received over those three months and what the Lord did in me as a whole is impossible to write about. the way I feel grounded, stabilized, anchored is too much for words. the weight of how blessed I am is is crippling.

 the holiness of God

the servanthood of Jesus

the boldness of the disciples

 the generosity of the the early church.

I am so far from looking anything like him. like them. the magnitude of it all makes me want to toss in my towel and quit right now. I look nothing like Jesus. I know nothing of sacrifice, of service, of taking up any sort of cross and following. What little I have offered is moot in comparison to Christ giving up the comforts of heaven for the hellishness of earth.

I am undone.

Which is absolutely the point of the bible. OH God I am not, but You are. Perfection was never attainable so Christ became perfect for me. I am not deserving, I am not good enough, I will never be sinless and my life will only ever have glimpses of looking like Jesus. This grace is too beautiful and profound I want to run and hide because in light of God’s goodness the more wretched I become.  The more I see God the more I see myself rightly and the more I realize my need for him. I want to flee from his goodness because it’s almost to much to take in and I will never be able to match his stride anyways. But the point is I was never expected to, that’s why he had to come. And I am so thankful that he did.

There is no one else I would rather expend my life for.

Today marks one month since starting my first secondary school in ywam. That sounded funny so let me break that down a little. Youth With a Mission’s most basic school is called a DTS or discipleship training school, it is the school I did 6 years ago and have been staffing almost ever since then. But ywam offers a lot of secondary schools that you can take after you complete a dts that are more focused on a certain skill or aspect of missions. Don’t ask me why I waited till now to do one of these schools!The knowledge I am attaining would have been super helpful all those years of trying to answer my students theological questions about the bible, when I really am no scholar! haha. Anyways, the secondary school I am now doing is called the Chronological Bible Core Course. It is a 3 month in depth study of 12 books of the bible where we  learn how to look at the bible inductively. Pretty much this means we look at the text not as a love letter written to yours truly (as I have often thought of it) but rather as individual books written to a specific people at a specific time for a specific purpose. To put it simply we look at the background information of the time period a book was written, and try to observe how the people who were a part of the story would have felt, and then also the people who the book was written for and how they would have reacted to it. The greater in depth you go into what the original reader’s lives were like, what they valued, how they viewed God, the greater revelation you receive on what the book is really trying to convey and how it is applicable to our lives today. So far we have studied Genesis, Deuteronomy, Kings and Proverbs.

So far it has been something…amazing? The mental breakdown, studying till 2 am, shoot-me-now kind of amazing. The homework load is, shall we say, extensive…besides 3-5 hours of lecture most days, (plus worship, intercession and work duties a couple times a week) we typically have between 8-12 hours of homework every weekday, and 6-8 hours on the weekend. It is incredibly stressful at times, but a good kinda stress. A wonderful how am I this blessed? kinda stress!

Even though it is a lot of work, i feel completely refreshed in doing it. It is wonderful being a student again and not being in charge of anything or responsible for anyone accept me! I absolutely love being a leader, but sometimes a girl needs a breather.

I remember on one of my last entries in my Ch.na journal i said something along the lines of, “I am not the same person who entered this country 3 months ago, something is different.” Doing this school has helped me to pinpoint that change. And simply all it is is thankfulness. Being in a commie country where portions of the bible are omitted by the government, where Christians meet in secret to study the word of God, well stuff like that should leave no room for complaint in my life. All that I am is incredibly blessed. To not only own a bible, but have the privilege of doing a BCC and studying it inductively…that this is my full time job for the next 2 months-It’s just too much blessing all rolled into one!

To those who are praying for me and supporting me in doing this school, thank you!