In like a lion.

So here we are. The second of March. Rain is pouring down, much like it has been all day. I wear slippers and drink coffee to ward of the chills. Chocolate smartie pecan oatmeal cookies are in the oven and I stare at this screen content as can be. Coming home is always just that- coming home. Even with an empty house, I am happy to be here. Rain and gloom and all, I dont think the beauty of this town will ever evade me. I am forever grateful to be raised in a place such as Gibsons.

Four weeks ago I was in Cambodia, three- Thailand, two-Hawaii and one-Vancouver. To put the emotions of transitioning from place to place into words would be entirely possible, but quite lengthy. In short: One week I am teaching english in a village, sleeping on a hard wood floor and showering with a bucket of water from a trough. The next I am at a clinic on a small island in Thailand, discovering that I have lost 14lbs due to a parasite and being completely disappointed that my week of debriefing and relaxing on the beach is ruined. Then I am back in Honolulu, reunited with people I love, yet missing my students that I no longer spend 24 hours a day with. In Vancouver, I am slapped in the face wth the cold weather and joyfully watch Kaitlin (a girl from the first team I ever led) marry the man of her dreams. I spend time with friends and family and finally arrive here, home. I enjoy the comfort of a bedroom all to myself, the warmth of a fireplace, and the freedom to choose whatever I like to eat for every meal today.

In Cambodia there were days when I missed home, and just as often there are days here when I miss outreach. Take last night for example, I can’t transport back to Cambodia so instead I watch Lara Croft Tomb Raider  (enduring the outdated CGI)  in order to see Ta Phrom and Angkor Wat. My heart is warmed as I hear the Cambodians call out “moi, bi, by” or “1, 2,3” in a scene.  The adventure seeker in me thinks my life is as fulfilling as they come, but the traditional homebody side of me sometimes grows tired of the plane rides and instability of it all.

What keeps me steady is really truly simply Jesus. They say it takes missionaries four years to really accept where they are. Four years to steady your heart and get over culture shock. Four years to realize that this really is your life. I just broke the 4.5 year mark of being on staff in Ywam and  reaching this point has not been easy. This past year I have wrestled with and questioned why I am doing this, more so than any time previously. But I know that I am chosen for this task and for such a time as this. All of the doubts and anxieties come down to my trust in the Lord. Over this past school God has really solidified in my heart how trustworthy he really is. How faithful he always always is. Some key verses I find the Lord reminding me of are: “The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness, and he will be the stability of your times…” -Isaiah 33:6 and “Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” “-John 14:23.

Life moves quickly. How encouraging it is to know that wherever I go, wherever I may lay my head at night, Father, Son and Holy Spirit have made their home with me. They continue to be the stability of my times.

In the next few days I will be sharing some entries from my Cambo journal, so stay tuned!