At the expense of being overtly obvious,
it has been a while.
On my return to Kauai from Bali, united states immigration and I had a nice little chit chat about the frequency of my request for “tourist” visas into their country. To sum it up, I was told that my next trip home I need to stay there long enough to prove that i still consider Canada to be my home. So after our lovely 8 students graduated from their DTS and my friends Simeon and Olivia came to visit me in Kauai, I ventured on home to Gibsons at the end of April. It felt odd going home already since I felt like i had literally just left. But I knew that spending time at home was, in a backwards upside down kinda way, being faithful to my commitment to Ywam Kauai. In order to be staff for the September school, I needed to spend time out of the usa. So homeward bound it was!
I had an amazing 4 months in my hometown. reconnecting with people, spending time with my friends, staying at Jon and Kat’s, family birthday parties and reunions (I loved getting to see my whole extended family on both sides!), catering for Matt’s webseries pilot he was filming, camping with the City Lights crew, helping with kids club and vbs at Christ the King, joining a prayer group, taking a road trip to visit friends in Kelowna, and working the shut down at the mill. Needless to say it was a very full and fun summer!
I have never ceased to love Gibsons, and being there (especially during the sunny season) just makes me long to live there again. Apparently it is possible to be homesick… while being at home! In a way those 4 months were a piece of cake, surrounded by people i love and feeling involved in what God is doing in my town; but on the flip side, because of those feelings it made it hard for my heart to stay committed to Kauai. I could see the ways God was using me to encourage my friends. I could see the needs of the youth in Gibsons and I wanted to somehow fill that role. I could see how easy it would be to drop everything and engage fully and live missionaly in Gibsons. It was honestly a very big emotional and spiritual struggle for me this summer. (And probably one of the reasons i haven’t updated this blog in a very long time.) Do my supporters really want to hear about my doubts? Perhaps, but I strongly dislike feeling weak. I guess it’s time for honesty. Pioneering is not easy, Kauai has not been easy. But I have grown so much in the past 2.5 years, and although it is sometimes painful, through the doubts, the questions, the unknowns, the ups and downs, the successes and the failures, I have established in my heart the faithfulness of my Saviour.
Time after time after time I have reminded myself of who Christ is and what He is calling me to. Sometimes i get tired, but I can honestly say that this year I came through a season of testing and I have decided to follow Jesus (shocker right), despite the cost. No matter where I am at, He is always always always worthy of my praise, of my adoration and of my sacrifice. So I am still committed to Ywam Kauai until God releases me to go home (or to the nations) and for now that means I am committed to Honolulu (backwards again I know haha).
Shortly after I left this spring I learned that Camp Faith was being taken away from the church we were leasing from. After investing so much of our time, talents and money into renovations, as well as absolutely loving the property, this came as quite the blow. The back up plan was to rent out the houses where we ran our first DTS , but that also fell through at the last minute. Thankfully, shortly before our fall school was about to start (camping dts anyone?) Ywam Honolulu graciously invited us to join their school for this season. So back to Honolulu I have come! (Apparently I proved Canada is indeed still my home as immigration let me back in the country.) Definitely did not see this one coming, but like I said, God is faithful all the time, His ways are higher, and we are believing that He is continuing to build our foundations as a base even from afar. Even though it may seem like a step back, I know that this will be a time for us as Ywam Kauai to be renewed, restored, refreshed so that we may return to the island next year to continue pioneering.
So that takes me to the here and now. I am in Honolulu, back at the base where this all began, and am staffing a school of 41 passionate students! I am excited for what God has in store for all of them and also for what He is going to teach me in this time. Stay tuned on outreach details soon to come! Thank you for reading this, loving on me, praying for me, and supporting me!