Hearts unfold.

 For four consecutive weeks this year, May/June, i was in four different countries, from Indonesia to Thailand to the USA to Canada.  Its crazy! One moment i was responsible for the safety of 8 young adults in a third world country. The next im back at Wheatberries responsible to make sure the creme on a customers americano looks just right. Its always good being home, i had a great summer of weddings, camping trips and riding my bike to work everyday. But it was also hard just dealing with homesickness for my life in Hawaii. God is in control though and i know it was good for me to have that three months in Gibsons just to simply be still for a bit. I finally had time to process my experience as a staffer over the last two schools, and I spent allot of time just journaling and working through what it means to be following Jesus when im not in my Ywam bubble. It also gave me time to pray and consider two options that were given to me by my leader Raquel.
  The first being whether i felt like God was asking me to lead an outreach this quarter. The second whether God was calling me to join her and the team that was heading to pioneer a Kauai base in January.
On both accounts i felt God releasing me to reply “Yes!”

 So i find myself here in Hawaii once again, this school i am co leading a team of 7 students with Mr. Samuel Suh to the nation of Thailand! To be completely honest, when God whispered Thailand in my ear during worship a few weeks ago i thought either i was crazy or He was because i had absolutely no desire to go on outreach there! I wanted to go to Nepal, wear a sarwar, eat with my hands and do open airs. Not do prayer walks and friendship evangelism in a second world country. But Gods ways are soo much higher than mine,  and ever since i said “okay God i will go” He has been soo faithful in giving me a heart and filling me with excitement for Thailand!
   The main thing God has been teaching me since being here is simply INTIMACY. Intimacy, intimacy, intimacy. Every outcome i can possibly imagine (freedom, desperation, gifts of the Holy Spirit) all are birthed out of an intimacy with Christ. I really just feel like God is beckoning me into a deeper relationship with Him. Ive never felt so strong an urge just to spend time alone with Him! I feel like after years of doing quiet times out of obligation i am finally crossing over into that place of enjoyment. Ive been studying Song of Songs, and daily just being blown away with the fact that God is so desperate for me. He has been, is, and will always be relentless in his pursuit of me. He has been, is, and will always be recklessly in love with me.

  With that said i am beginning to see how Thailand fits into all this. Its like God is saying, “Let me draw you away from whats comfortable for you- so that you can rely on me.”
   Following Thailand i will be joining the team over in Kauai. There is a ton of unknown attached to what my life pioneering a new base will look like, but its gonna be great.
Its an exciting time to be alive !

Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above.

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